Kids and Allowance: Final Reader Question Answered by Linda Leitz

We’ve been taking time out here at Yielding Wealth to occasionally have Linda Leitz, author of We Need to Talk: Money and Kids After Divorce,  answer some reader questions. We are on our final question:

I’d like to give my kids an allowance to teach them to manage money responsibly, but they get money from my ex whenever they want it. How can I teach them that money won’t always just “appear,” and that they need to learn to manage what they have properly?

Here is Linda’s answer:

This is a difficult issue.  And kids generally know how to work each parent.  If the kids are spending a good amount of time with you, there will be some items that you allow them to have only at your house.  That’s one way to teach them how to save for things.

In regard to allowance specifically, decide what they’ll be allowed to spend the allowance on and discuss that with the kids.  Then have the allowance stay at your house, along with what they buy with it.

Kids with both parents in the same household sometimes get conflicting life lessons about money, too, so this isn’t just a single parent issue.  If you talk with your children, without forcing your preferences on them, and give them some hands on experience with making some financial choices with money they control, they’ll learn from it.

Everyone has their own money personality and sometimes it’s difficult for people (of all ages) to make wise decisions about money.  Have open communication with your kids about money, don’t judge them or your ex harshly for decisions you disagree with, and don’t bail them out of their financial mistakes.  They’ll still grow up to be comfortable with who they are with their own decision capabilities.