As you may know if you’re a long-term reader here, I work a part time job at a day care. Much of the time, I’m in the infant room (under 2 years old), but I also spend time with the toddlers, preschoolers, and school-age groups. It never ceases to amaze me what they teach me.

My sister and cousin as kids...don't they look like they know everything?

Often, the lessons these little minds teach me are really relevant to writing and my freelance career. Here’s a sampling of what I’ve learned from them…quotes, straight from the horses mouth.

“Sometimes things are boring, but you have to learn them anyway.” - age 4

Too true, my friend. The little boy who said this was talking about a particular subject he didn’t like, but he knew that it was important for him to know.  I think writers need to take that approach to research. we don’t always find the topic interesting, but if we don’t research and learn about it, we’ll write articles full of fluff that aren’t very useful to others. Sometimes things are boring, yes…but you have to learn them if you take the job.

“Give hugs when you are mad.” - age 3

This applies to most jobs, and life in general. I can’t count how many times I was short with someone in an email or on the phone because I was mad, but you know what? Clients don’t really respond to that very well! At the day care, when two kids get into a fight, we make them hug one another and say they are sorry. That approach gives the opportunity for the anger to subside so we can all find a compromise to the problem. You don’ t have to hug your clients, but when someone ticks you off, approach them with kindness instead of anger so you can work through the problem.

“Damn it. Damn it. DAMN IT. DAMN IT.” - age 2

Ok, I’m not suggesting that cursing is a good thing, especially for a two year old. He actually got into a lot of trouble for yelling that - but there’s a lesson it this. When that happened, he was really frustrated about his mommy not being there to pick him up yet, and he walked away from all of us to stand in the corner of the room and just yell “damn it.” Word choice aside, we can all learn from that. Sometimes, when you’re frustrated about a project, the best thing to do is blow off some steam about it and come back to the problem later. After his little outburst, he seemed to calm done and was able to stop crying and wait for his mommy patiently. The next time you feel like throwing a punch at your computer, walk away for a few hours to cool off.

Sometimes, the world amazes me. If only the lessons we learned about sharing, love, and respect as a child stuck with us through adulthood. Sometimes, the kids humble me - but they make me a better writer in the process.

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Darn! It’s cloudy and chilly here in San Diego – and it’s been like this for several days. Okay, I’m a total weather wuss… but the gloom makes me want to go to bed with a novel, not write. At least I think I can blame the weather.

Well, there’s another truth here too. The chapter I need to be working on is, frankly, boring to me at the moment. On the whole, the project is interesting, but I’m feeling sort of stuck and definitely uninspired.

What I will do is write… for at least an hour. What do you do when you don’t want to write?

Write well and often,

Two newsletters:
Abundant Freelance Writing - a resource for freelance writers including 3x a week job postings.
Writing With Vision - for those who want to get a book written.

I chuckled when I saw the headline over at Common Sense PR - Tip: You Can’t Push a Rope. Although the post is more or less aimed at working in/with corporate environments, it’s certainly also true in the freelance writing business.

Eric points out that it may be the wrong time - I can’t count the number of potential clients who have contacted me and then disappeared. Some of them have probably found other writers, but for many, it simply wasn’t the right time to hire a writer. That’s fine with me, and sometimes those clients surface later, sometimes a lot later, and hire me.

Eric also says, and rightly so that people will not be led if they don’t want to be. I’d go further and say also that they won’t be led where they don’t want to go. In my case as a ghostwriter, if a client is determined to find a trade publisher, that’s where they will head, even if it’s obvious that they should self-publish and market their own book through their own lectures, etc. Or they buy into expensive promo packages that simply have no chance of really working. Or they refuse to recognize when the book is complete.

Every writer who works with clients has this type of experience.

The best thing to realize is you really can’t push a rope… at least not in a straight line. You can only push a rope as a lump of line, and that probably isn’t what you or the client need or want.

All I’m responsible is to do the best job I can and give the best advice I know how to give. What the client does with it is, well, up to the client.

Have you got an example of this? Tell us about it.

Write well and often,

Two newsletters:
Abundant Freelance Writing - a resource for freelance writers including 3x a week job postings.
Writing With Vision - for those who want to get a book written.