The Fine Art of Small Talk

by Merci Miglino

We use small talk to connect with others in a casual way, and by becoming more mindful of the way we interact with those we don’t know well, we take the first step toward building quality relationships. We start by being fully present and talking about what is right there in front of us—the weather, your client’s new car, your neighbor’s flowers, the pictures on the walls in the office.

Be yourself. We typically run into trouble when we are trying to be something we are not. Talking negatively about anyone or any company is a bad idea. Stay neutral or silent.

Good small talk indicates:

Awareness - Did you notice that new haircut, office chair, or necktie? You can show others that you are paying attention by mentioning subtle changes.

Friendliness. You could just smile and nod, but making a benign comment or asking a question shows that you are truly interested in taking the initiative in the conversation.

A Desire to Connect. By engaging in light conversation with others, you are indicating your interest in getting to know them better.

Sensitivity. You’re trying to build a bridge, not a wall. Ask questions and look for cues that let you know how the other person is receiving your comments.

Tips for Working a Room

In many networking events, you will find yourself with time to “mingle” among the other attendees before the formal program begins. It may be beneficial for you to spend some time planning and preparing how you will “work the room” to get the most from your efforts.

Don’t stay too long in one place. After eight to ten minutes, excuse yourself with a pleasantry such as, “It was nice meeting you … “

Many networking events will feature a meal if held during meal time hours. It is crucial to practice good table etiquette to make the best impression.

Sit and listen. Start the conversation by asking questions: why people are there, what they hope to gain, how they found out about the event. Avoid monopolizing the conversation.

Keep your business cards handy. Do not deal them out impersonally.

Smile! Remember, one way to keep from looking angry (your “not smiling” facial expression) is to pick a “cue” to use as a mental signal to look happier. For example, at a Holiday party you might say to yourself that every time I see the color red I’ll smile. People will want to talk with you if you look mildly happy and interesting, so some times you have to work at that perception.

Saying a new name to yourself about five times right after hearing it will be helpful in remembering. Use the invisible writing the name on the person’s forehead (I’ll explain!)

Eat a little bit and drink less. Keep in mind that you are really here to network and not to eat your dinner.

No Sales Pitches! Networking is about meeting people and getting to know them. Listen and ask questions, you’ll be practicing good sales skills that will come in handy at a different time.

Before striking out on her own, Merci Miglino promoted ideas and people within the
New York political scene for nearly 20 years. A former teacher, reporter, communications director, campaign manager, Merci now manages a successful practice as a career and business strategist and Certified Professional Coach for individuals and organizations. She has achieved a master level of coaching with over 2000 hours of experience and currently teaches certification courses for the International Coach Academy located in Sydney, Australia. She is the former Chair of the International Coach Federation’s Public Relations Committee and Chapter Leader for the Albany, NY Chapter. Visit her at http://www.mercimiglino.com

(Photo courtesy of Merci Miglino)

Get out there and network!

by Merci Miglino

Beyond the Business Card!

The best business networking groups operate as exchanges of business information, ideas, and support. They allow you to build trust and for people to get to know you. People do business with people they like and trust.

The most important skill for effective business networking is listening; focusing on how you can help the person you are listening to rather than on how he or she can help you is the first step to establishing a mutually beneficial relationship.

Preparing to Network

Start with a purpose. It does you no good to attend any networking function unless you define your objectives to know why you are there.

Know who will be at any event. What businesses and professionals will be there and how does your services or products relate to them?

Recognize and deal with the aspects of networking that bother you most. For example, if you’re scared of meeting people, begin by practicing with trusted friends. Tell them about your interests, training and abilities. Or, if you’re worried about becoming tongue-tied, role-play your meetings until you feel confident about what to say.

Take time out to replenish yourself. Plan your schedule so that you have periods of solitude that allow you to recharge. For instance, don’t schedule a full day’s activities if you plan to network at an evening event.

Networking: A Giver’s Game

7 Ways to Give to Your Network

1.      Ask

The best way to learn how you can help others is to ask them how. When you ask directly, they’re likely to tell you exactly how you can support them. Always listen to what they’re saying and try to discern their needs.

2. Be a Matchmaker

One of the most valuable things you can do is to connect people with each other. Consider which connections between members of your network would be mutually valuable: amazing things can happen.

Exercise:

Grab a sheet of paper and draw a circle in the middle of the page. Picture yourself in the center of this circle. Around you are all the people in your close professional network (you know them well and could call them at any time). Write in the name of those members of your close professional network randomly so they’re surrounding you.

Now look at each name individually consider who would benefit most from knowing each other. Draw lines connecting these people. Then, over the next week, make a plan to introduce or otherwise connect these people for mutual benefit. They’ll be thrilled you did and will be there for you next time you need a connection.

Visit for more information

http://goodadvice.www.theladders.com/archives/learn_from_experts/networking/index.html

3. Share Articles

When you read an article you think would be interesting to a member of your network, tear it out and mail it to them with a quick note. They generally appreciate the valuable information and thoughtfulness that come with it.

4. Bring a Friend

If you’re attending a conference, networking meeting, training course or any other type of event, invite members of your network to attend with you. You’ll have an opportunity to spend time with them and again, they’ll appreciate the thought. This is just another way to build stronger and more valuable relationships.

5. Send a Link

When you visit a web site, think about your network members who could do their jobs better from knowing about that site - then send a link. Many sites have ‘email this to a friend’ buttons to make it as simple as two clicks and a brief form. The internet is boundless, often making it nearly impossible to stay on top of useful developments. Sharing relevant sites is a valuable service you can provide to friends and colleagues.

6. Share Your Passion or Interest

Next time you finish reading a book, think about the member of your network who’d benefit most from reading it and share a copy.

7. Give Them A Lead

When you stumble on a business or job lead that isn’t quite right for you: instead of just clicking on to the next post, consider who in your network might be right for this opportunity. Share the job details along with some brief, value-added comments on how best to land it.

Before striking out on her own, Merci Miglino promoted ideas and people within the
New York political scene for nearly 20 years. A former teacher, reporter,
communications director, campaign manager, Merci now manages a successful practice as a career and business strategist and Certified Professional Coach for individuals and organizations. She has achieved a master level of coaching with over 2000 hours of experience and currently teaches certification courses for the International Coach Academy located in Sydney, Australia. She is the former Chair of the International Coach Federation’s Public Relations Committee and Chapter Leader for the Albany, NY Chapter. Visit her at http://www.mercimiglino.com

In this week’s issue of Be Heard!, I share my secret to getting year-end publicity. Plus, you’ll get a great contact for Power Lunch!

Check out the ezine here.

Find out how to make your press releases Web 2.0 ready in the current issue of Be Heard!, the free weekly online newsletter for entrepreneurs, solo professionals, consultants, coaches and small business owners that will help you learn the secrets to attract more targeted clients and customers through publicity and promotions.

You’ll also find out about some of the key editors over at BusinessWeek, and more!

Click here for the web version. Or better yet, subscribe today at www.beheardsolutions.com and get all this - and more delivered to your email each week!

Many small business owners and entrepreneurs think marketing and publicity is out of their reach, especially when they feel they can’t compete budget-wise with big corporations.

But I disagree. With the right amount of exposure in the right places, any small business can flourish and succeed. National Be Heard Day is on March 7^th and small businesses can celebrate their own unique marketing efforts.

Established in 2004, National Be Heard Day calls attention to the 145+ million people who own small business or is an independent professional or entrepreneur in the United States. They’re the owners of the local grocery store and advertising consultants, piano teachers and plumbers, business analysts and bakers, attorneys and artisans. The day urges these professionals to find their voice, tell their story and be heard through marketing and publicity.

Marketing is a key element in any small business, but it doesn’t need to break the bank.

Small businesses typically have a limited marketing budget if any at all,. Does that mean you can’t succeed like the big guys? Absolutely not. It just means you have to think a little more creatively. And that’s what National Be Heard Day celebrates: creative tactics that helps the little guy grow and thrive.

To help small businesses owners, here are some tactics to help small businesses to be heard on National Be Heard Day:

1. Write articles: Articles don’t have to be long; they just need to be informative. Writing articles gives you instant credibility, too. Submitting online, as well as offline, provides another good chance to get your name in print at no cost. Be sure to put your contact information in a contact resource box at the end of the article.
2. Use your business cards: Think of your business card as a small billboard and start handing them out everywhere. Include them in all your correspondence – even in your bills!
3. Public speaking: Speaking in front of an audience usually makes you an expert. People like to buy from experts. If they’re in your audience, then they’ll remember your expertise and come to you when they need your product or service. Speaking is free, and it’s just like making a sales call to many people at one time.
4. Free reports: Offering a free report online is a good way to get an e-mail from prospects so you may market to them later. This is the whole basis of permission-based marketing, or opt-in lists. You can do the same thing offline.
5. Build strategic alliances: Introduce yourself to other businesspeople who don’t compete with you but sell products or services to the same target audience. Offer to promote them if they promote you. Make sure they’re people you like and trust.

As part of the celebration, I’ll be featuring interviews with leading marketers on Startup Spark. They will lead up to a wonderful Be Heard Day Giveaway, where you can download free gifts (without any sleezy sales) to help you to ‘be heard!’