U.K. To Raise Sin Taxes On Cigarettes, Alcohol and Cars

Left Untaxed: Boiling Meat, Prep School Buggery and Failure to Brush One’s Teeth

The U.K. became the latest, but certainly not the last, country to introduce new sin taxes in an effort to raise government revenues in uncertain economic times.

Asserting the government’s right to dictate the behavior of adult citizens, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, said his office would continue to penalize what it considered wrong-headed choices regarding how people choose to spend their money and time.

Government officials also vowed to continue using the more silly and pretentious title of ‘Chancellor of the Exchequer’ instead of ‘Treasury Secretary.’

Britain’s equivalent of a Finance Minister, Alistair Darling, said he would have no further comment on the budget until next week after he’d had time to examine “this document you keep referring to as the ‘Magna Carta.’”

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Chancellor Darling maybe related to both Phil Donahue and Groucho Marx

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