My Two Cents

Worth More in Canada? Worth Less in Canada? Pretty worthless anywhere…

Business News:

Investment bank Lehman Brothers is filing for bankruptcy, Bank of America is bailing out Merrill Lynch, and the Fed is bailing out AIG which means global investors are losing confidence in the stability of financial institutions collateralized by mortgage-backed securities and are seeking to enhance liquidity and mitigate the volatility affecting equity and debt markets or… the economy’s in the crapper.

JetBlue has put a bunch of vacations up on eBay, with opening bids set between 5 and 10 cents. The trips include three and four day packages but the airline advises you allow three to four days to sit on the tarmac.

Political News:

John McCain picked as his runningmate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, a woman whose daughter is going to be a teenaged unwed mother.  Sound like a Democrat… or a celebrity.  In an interview with ABC News, Palin didn’t seem to know what the Bush Doctrine is.  But then again, neither does Bush.

Al Franken has won the Democratic primary in Minnesota so he will run against Republican Norm Coleman for a seat in the Senate.  It’s not so weird to have a comedian in the Senate.  We already have a clown in the White House.

A 19-year-old University of Oklahoma freshman was elected the mayor of Muskogee, Oklahoma.   Next year, he’ll be the Republican nominee for president.

Celebrity News:

Michael Jackson recently turned 50.  Of course, his nose only made it to 38.

Inexplicable celebrity Lauren Conrad has inked a 3-book deal to write fiction for HarperCollins.  Hear that?  That’s the sound of English majors everywhere hanging themselves.

Jack Nicholson, Jon Bon Jovi and Shaquille O’Neal are among 30 nominees to the New Jersey Hall of Fame.  The others are politicians who will be moved to the Hall of Fame directly from prison.

Seriously???:

A 71-year-old Cincinnati preacher was driving to First Commandment Church of the Living God when another driver cut him off.  So the preacher chased the other driver then waved a gun at her and threatened to kill her.  When Jesus said, “Turn the other cheek,” I didn’t realize he meant, “Turn the other cheek so you can get a better aim.”

The Catholic Church is unhappy with a new book, “101 Places to Have Sex Before You Die,” that encourages couples to sneak into church confessionals to have sex.  Apparently, the Church doesn’t want anyone else using the priests’ special place.

A Florida man was walking his dog in the nude.  When police asked him what he was doing, he answered, “Allah told me to watch a Bruce Willis movie and walk the dog.”  He was then sent for mental-health evaluation and treatment because obviously no deity would make him watch a Bruce Willis movie.