Honk If You’ve Still Got A Job

Employment Numbers Reveal Layoffs Highest Since 1974; Figures Show Average Citizen Most Worried Since 452 A.D.

There was more bad news for the economy this morning when the payroll employment figures were released. The unemployment rate rose to 6.7%, the highest since 1993 and the number of employees being laid off hit levels not seen since 1974.

Many top economists now complain they are having to go back further and further in history to find comparably bad times.

“Once you get back past 1980, it’s pretty much a straight shot to prehistoric times,” said one analyst. “If we can screw things up worse than Jimmy Carter, there’s virtually no end to how bad things can get.”

The Bureau of Economic Statistics reported the nation’s OMG Index, which measures the trepidation the average person is feeling, reached levels last seen when Attila the Hun was threatening the Roman Empire in 452 A.D.

Bureau spokesman Jim Dandee noted, “At that time Attila had 700 thousand troops and unlimited power to use them as he saw fit and no one in the Roman Senate knew what was going on. So, yeah, things were pretty much the same as they are now.”

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Head Hun was known for his frequent changes of plan and overall lack of direction…

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Photo credit: EveryStockPhoto.com

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