Asian Stocks Surge Following 391 Point Rise In U.S. Markets

April 2, 2008 by Mark Jabo  
Filed under Uncategorized

Traders Urge Officials in Washington to Halt Cheap Foreign Knock-Offs of DJIA Rallies

Asian stock markets rose sharply following an upswing Tuesday in U.S. equity markets. New York Stock officials said the move was yet another instance of Asian companies violating copyright laws by producing a rally that was similar in “look and feel” to the U.S. rally.

Traders on the U.S. stock exchanges were said to be organizing a rally to pressure government officials to enforce laws protecting U.S. rallies from cheap foreign copies. The specter of a having a protest involving 75-100 Infinitis and Lexuses clearly has some Congressmen worried.

According to one Senator, “Our market was up 3.19% and the Hang Seng Index comes out the very next day and is up 3.20%. It is a very good knock-off of the DJIA rally. Without knowing what to look for, it’s almost impossible to tell the difference between the two rallies.”

The Nikkei 225 index rose 4.2%, continuing the long trend of the Japanese copying an idea and then improving upon it. In a recent J.D. Power survey the Nikkei stock market received high marks for dependability and was said to be less likely to break down than the U.S. stock market.

Traders also praised the design of the seats on the Nikkei stock exchange which feature hidden cup holders and a port for an iPod.

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Knock it off

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Comments

2 Responses to “ Asian Stocks Surge Following 391 Point Rise In U.S. Markets
  1. Miki says:

    Thanks for another good laugh. You guys give me hope that intelligent parody and satire are alive and well in the written word.

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  1. [...] Asian Stocks Surge Following 391 Point Rise In U.S. Markets: “Asian stock markets rose sharply following an upswing Tuesday in U.S. equity markets. New York Stock officials said the move was yet another instance of Asian companies violating copyright laws by producing a rally that was similar in “look and feel” to the U.S. rally.” [...]



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